Keeping In Touch With Deployed Spouse Can Be Tough...

[auryan]

Here's an interesting article for our Ashworth College military spouses to consider. I always thought of the positive aspects of email correspondence between deployed soldiers and spouses, but when expectations for contact are not met; I'm sure there must be feelings of great disappointment as well. Please check out article and share your thoughts. Thanks...

http://www.milspouse.com/email-creates- ... tment.aspx

[maggieloop]

I agree that access to email now is a hit or miss. Way back when, before email, I would sit and wait by the phone waiting for a phone call that usually only came once a month or so, and then would be the worst connection on earth! However, now there are so many options that are available for communication and many people rely on them more than ever. Unfortunately, in the "I want it now" society that we live in, we get upset when it doesn't happen right now. Phone service, email, and postal mail are still not readily accessible in all areas where someone can be deployed to. Also, simply due to the nature of what the spouses are doing, a phone call or email is not the top priority, sleep has to be put on the list somewhere.

While I am so used to lack of communication from my husband when he is gone, I do admit that I am guilty of checking the email multiple times a day and making sure my cell phone is fully charged at all times....just in case.

The spouses of today have it pretty dang easy, when my dad was in Vietnam all my parents had was regular mail that was not at all reliable, and before that I can only imagine how hard communication was when my grandfather was in WWII.

I guess my feelings about this are: positive--can talk/mail pretty much anytime and be in contact as much as we please; negative--too much wasted time sitting and waiting and worrying why you didn't get a call/email that day.

[Mike]

You have to also consider that you may be 8 hours difference in time. When you get off mission, its not always the best time to call if you can even get to a phone. If you do call or IM too frequently, your spouse may worry when you don't get off mission for some time. I always tried to explain that if I didn't call for a few days, not to worry. Sometimes phones and internet went down. I was on a phone call one day with my mother when we started getting some mortars. She asked what the noise was and I calmly told her that we were close to where EOD destroyed unexploded ordinance. Its difficult for the spouse at home who has constant access to phone and internet to have to wait to hear from you. Its important not to give them any more reason to worry. Let them know that you might be on mission for various time frames. Let them know that service can be poor where you are. But do contact them when you can and let them know you are alright. They don't need to hear about you getting shot at, the VBIED that tried to enter your convoy, or anything else that will cause them to worry. These things only make it more difficult for them to have to wait an extra day to hear from you. This is all common sense, but I've heard guys tell their family members some horror stories. Please consider what they are going through too.

[maggieloop]

I agree with what you are saying. I also really don't want to know what is going on where my husband is...I prefer my dreamworld LOL

I guess what spouses/family members/friends need to do, is fall back on the thought of "No news is good news" and embrace that mentallity. I know it's not easy on either side of the ocean, but all we can do not expect more than we reasonably know that we will get. Hope that makes sense.

[eraeferguson]

I was a chronic email checker when my husband was in Iraq last time. I also carried my cell phone everywhere, including the restroom, dressing rooms.... You name it, the phone was with me at all times! I loved the communication. My husband always told me that he would do his best to call/email, but he also put in that clause, "barring anything unexpected...." I loved hearing his voice and reading his emails and it was difficult when he wasn't able to call for a few days. But I figure as long as two uniformed men don't come to my door then I know he's okay! It's hard being a military spouse, especially with these long and multiple deployments. There's nothing better than having them home!